That first night of ours together, I wonder if he remembers it or has the disappointment of our affair shoved all his recollections into the deepest cellars of his mind. I must ponder whether he remembers how he had kept his promise of equality even through our first time lovemaking. He had not ordered me once, but laid the path for me with the movements of his body, his tenderness when he drew my finger into his mouth when I was uncertain of boundaries in the giving of pleasure, his gentleness in taking me into his body as I could only guess the next natural move and then finally, the way he rocked himself into me with such ease, as though he was simply drawing a line between two dots which never should have been separated.

At all times, with each action he had taken, he had asked for my permission with a trusting, softly questioning glance, until his groans had increased, his head had tilted back and his rhythm gave way to my building need and confidence, which he had given me. I had taken the liberty and found a faster, rougher beat to which I could commit myself and the moans with which he affirmed my choice were the center of a world which made more sense than ever before.

Before long, I had come with an explosion within him and he, on me. I remember us falling back onto the bed, still panting harshly, nearly empty of thought, yet farther from emptiness than we had ever been until that day. Reminiscing about a dance I had once seen, in which each dancer moved in utter perfection, in seemingly Valar-made synchronization with his fellow dancers, it seemed to reflect so perfectly what we had just shared that I could not imagine for the world ever wanting to do anything but prolong this state of being.

I had stayed the night and he has dwelt in my heart ever since. I had no more doubts, nor questions.

Tearing him out of my life was as impossible as suffocating my own body. How had it come to be that I must watch him from afar, through a window, as one who plans wronging another, not being able to walk up to him, kiss and love him as we were meant to?

Lord Elrond had gathered the noble men and all warriors of Rivendell around the table in the festive hall. Estel was somewhat nervous about being here as well. He had come a long way since he and Legolas had started their liaison, but he did not yet think himself ready for this sort of mission. Elrond spoke decisively and clearly of the Orcs moving along their borders and the importance of stopping them before they enter the Elven kingdom.

“We will ride in teams.” The Elvish lord added. "Keep safe the border, but do not fight any Orcs if you should encounter them. Ride carefully and come back here to gather a greater force should you see any sign of danger."

To be continued...